Grief and Loss

Grief and loss are part of human living. They are felt by everyone. But not all grief and loss is associated with death, although it certainly can be. Grief is extremely common in the context of relationships, lifestyle and identity. This is also part of bereavement - grief over the death of another. Traditionally, it was thought that bereavement was a process whose purpose was to sever the bonds with the deceased person.

We offer a model of grief and bereavement which continues the bonds with those who have died or been lost. These bonds of affection do not disappear when a person dies or goes away. We carry the person within us, often hearing or seeing or sensing them. This is normal and healthy. Moving on does not mean forgetting, but living with a renewed relationship to those who have been lost.

Grief is an ongoing, dynamic process often without an ending, and we aim to foster and deepen that process in whatever way works for each individual.

Common grief reactions:

  • Physical - energy generated by grief is converted to physical symptoms

  • Emotional - commonly experience a wide range of emotions, sometimes contradictory

  • Cognitive - constant thoughts about the loss

  • Spiritual - concerns around meaning, existence, death and morality.

  • Behavioural - ways of behaving associated with grief (ritual, hobbies, strategies)

Many ways to grieve

It is commonly observed that everybody grieves differently. When we suffer a loss we learn to adapt in our own ways, and this process of adaptation is grief. For some, grief is experienced through intense feelings, and our outward expression often mirrors those feelings. For others, grief involves taking action and mastering our environment. These patterns exist on a continuum, and almost nobody exclusively and easily fits the template at either end, in reality, almost everybody is "blended" or at least oscillates between these adaptive patterns.

Grief Counselling

We offer grief counselling for anyone struggling to understand or to live with a loss. We do not follow a “treatment” model of grief because we view it as a necessary process rather than a problem to be solved. But we understand that it is painful. We see ourselves as “companions” on the journey of grief, and we allow each individual to lead that journey.